October 26, 2018; Soccer!

Today, the General decided that everybody (including himself) deserved a day off. And so we did my favorite thing: skeleton soccer.

We all gathered in a large valley, and placed two goals on each side. We split into two very large teams, hundreds of us on each.

Here’s the thing about skeleton soccer; it’s very different from human soccer. We use magic for our games, and it makes them so much better. The ball is enchanted, so it bounces much harder. Also, although you can’t touch the ball with your hands, removing bones and using them as clubs is entirely allowed. A hard enough kick can beam the ball into someone else, knocking them apart. Those who fall apart are taken to the sidelines, where they can reassemble and then rejoin in five minutes. It’s so much fun.

You see, although Fuckboys knocking us apart is deadly, doing it to ourselves is fine. It’s another one of the weird ways that magic works here- we can’t hurt each other. It truly is amazing.

We played for the majority of the day, the ball (and bones) flying everywhere. The General acted as the Ref. I’m quite good at soccer, and was only knocked out twice.

In the end, my team won. I scored 7 of our 53 goals (the other team only scored 46). It was a lot of fun, and it definitely boosted morale.

I fully believe now that we are going to win the war this year, no matter what it takes. The Fuckboys are going down.

-M A R T Y

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