It turns out the rumors were true. Bill and I, along with about a dozen other soldiers, got teleported to New York today.
That’s another thing I don’t understand. In our realm, our magics are nearly infinite. But here on Earth, our powers are limited, and they require large amounts of energy to use. One teleportation can exhaust three of us. We even have to keep some soldiers out of the fight as magical reserves. Why do these differences exist? I’ve been fighting in this war for… I don’t even know how long, and I still can’t answer that question.
We went to the grocery store in New York today. The Fuckboys were already there, standing in a large group amidst aisles of fruit. There was more of them than we expected, perhaps thirty. Still, we coudln’t allow ourselves to get scared as we entered the store.
From what we could see, the Fuckboys had no weapons. As we advanced, we all drew our swords, but they displayed no fear. Our leader, Elizabeth, spoke.
“This is your only chance. Surrender, and we will let you live, if you promise to immediately discontinue all alliances with the Fuckboys through a blood oath.”
There was no reply. One Fuckboy laughed, but I couldn’t see who. Elizabeth took a step forward and then… I don’t know what happened.
A deafening sound split the air, like the ground was cracking open. Cartons of strawberries and blueberries were thrown across the store, splattering the walls with red and blue. In the spot where Elizabeth had been standing, there was nothing but a small hole in the floor. Then I looked up and saw her head buried in a bin of watermelons, screaming. One of her ribs had impaled into a melon next to her. Before she could keep screaming, a Fuckboy withdrew a sword from among the fruits and plunged it into her eye socket. She went silent, blood trickling out from her scattered bones. Then the Fuckboys attacked.
We called for evac immediately, and within minutes we were teleported back to base. But those few minutes were horrible. We fought valiantly, bone clashing against steel, but there was simply too many of them. Out of all of us that went, only six returned.
The Fuckboys have grown much stronger than we thought. Tomorrow, we will send in the Special Forces to take care of that swarm. Until then, I think I should rest. I can’t get the image of Elizabeth’s skull and all of the watermelons out of my mind.
-M A R T Y