Never Ready

Do you ever
get the feeling
that something
is horribly
horribly
wrong?

That you should
never
have let him go,
you should have
fought
until you couldn’t fight
anymore,
until your body sagged
and your bones cried out
for you to just
give up.
That you made
the biggest mistake
of your life,
and now your heart
won’t pump
and your lungs
won’t pull
and your brain
is disintegrating.
That you’ll die
without him.

Stop.
Think about it.
About him.

Then
you realize.
It was never about
him.
It was about
the warmth
of his smile
and the security
of his arms
and the joy
he brought
to your life.
And really
letting him go
was the best thing
you could ever do,
and though you burn
with the desire
for that warmth
again,
you’re not
quite
ready.

~Ash~